Field Of Innocence
by clutzey
Summary: Of love, Loss, and those feelings in between. ((I revisted the editing screw ups in the story.))


((Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any affiliated characters. Song is by Evanescence called "Field of Innocence."))  
  
"I still remember the world  
  
From the eyes of a child  
  
Slowly those feelings  
  
Were clouded by what I know now"  
  
Our gazes met, Severus's and mine, in a causal way that would seem ordinary on a normal day.  
  
But today was not a normal day. It was graduation, not only from Hogwarts, but also from innocence. We entered this school with wistful dreams and stars in our eyes. But now, even the twinkle that we thought would burn forever in the bright eyes of Dumbledore has seemed to vanish.  
  
None of us, not even Professor Trelawny can predict that mass amounts of pain and loss that we will feel in the future.  
  
"Where has my heart gone  
  
An uneven trade for the real world  
  
I want to go back to  
  
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all"  
  
We all sought solace and comfort in different places. I have found mine here in the arms of the man that I love. This man that loves me. Severus Snape. He is called to Revels more often now, it seems as if his loyalty is being tested.  
  
We lay in each other's arms for long hours, blocking out the pain of the real world. He sweeps me away, into a place of happiness, where this war cannot intrude, and where only we exist. He brings back the joys of innocence and my days of Hogwarts; how I wish that we could escape back then.  
  
"I still remember the sun  
  
Always warm on my back  
  
Somehow it seems colder now"  
  
The wizarding world mourns today. Or at least what I left of it. Dumbledore is dead and Voldemort will win. I remain in the dungeons of the castle, where Severus has been allowed to remain.  
  
They do not know I am here, I am presumed dead in one of the many Death Eater attacks that I have helped fight in. But there are no fights' anymore. Fighting at all seems fruitless. We have lost; even those who still have hope for the light will not longer fight for its mere shreds. We could have escape, Severus and I. Its dark in the dungeons, but I can still remember the sun when we used to lie in the fields of grass around Hogwarts, looking up at the beautiful sky. Why couldn't it have last?  
  
"Where has my heart gone  
  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
  
I want to go back to  
  
Believing in everything"  
  
Blackness consumes me and my tears stain my broken heart. They found me. A group of Death Eaters stormed into our chambers today, and they found us in each other's arms. Before we could truly comprehend what was happening, one shot the killing curse at Severus. I watched as the green consumed him, and I looked up, into the eyes of the man that killed him.  
  
Grey eyes, cold eyes. Unmistakable eyes. A Malfoy's eyes. I shall never forget the reflection of green death in those eyes. I expected the same curse to be thrown at me, so I could lie in death with him. But alas, I suppose they thought death was too good for me. We should have escaped.  
  
"Where has my heart gone  
  
An uneven trade for the real world  
  
I want to go back to  
  
Believing in everything"  
  
I feel empty. And machine. A robot. I go through a daily routine that has been established for me, without a single emotion. My soul is dead, and it lies with my love. Everyday, I must keep the tears from pouring down my cheeks. I must keep it all inside; I must not show a weakness. We could have escaped, by gods; there is some way we could have escaped.  
  
"Where has my heart gone  
  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
  
I want to go back to  
  
Believing in everything"  
  
I must see those eyes everyday. Eyes that deprived me of my soul and hardened my heart into the black nothing that it is. I hate those eyes. They look at me everyday and serve as a reminder of what I have lost. He will never let me forget. And he just won't let me die.  
  
"I still remember....."  
  
I tried to commit suicide once. A couple months after graduation, my parents got killed in one of the first major Death Eater attacks. I was sure that there was nothing to live for. But Severus found me and he saved me from myself. Now he is dead. I wish that he had let me die. Maybe it would have saved him. 


End file.
